Dog days bright and clear
Indicate a good year;
But when accompanied by rain,
We hope for better times in vain.
“There are some oddities in the perspective with which we see the world.”
(Douglas Adams - 'Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency')
The day you decide to do it is your lucky day.
The perfect way to make people look up to you
Someone told me I planted the wrong flowers...
If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you’ll have trouble putting on your pants.
The reason he went smiling all the way to the jail is because the judge sentenced him to a life behind chocolate bars.
I hold a little fundraiser every day.
It's called going to work.
It's a hotdog that sounds a little cold but packs extra heat.
The tiger that prowls quietly
doesn't mean it's intimidated.
A family is a tyranny ruled over by it’s weakest member.
My best friend is the one who, in wishing me well, wishes it for my sake.
You can’t wrap love in a box, but you can wrap a person in a hug
When: The last Friday in July Where: Everywhere First occurrence: 2000 Created by Ted Kekatos #SystemAdministratorAppreciationDay #SysAdminDay #SysOpDay Sources: https://sysadminday.com/
“Dogeared pages means someone is reading a paperback...”
(Nanette L. Avery)
Cheesecake tastes nothing like cheese, but people love it anyway.
I can cut down a tree just by looking at it
It's true! I saw it with my own eyes!
When: July 31 Where: Everywhere First occurrence: .?. Also known as Uncommon Musical Instrument Day #UncommonInstrumentDay #UncommonInstrumentAwarenessDay #UncommonMusicalInstrumentDay #UncommonMusicalInstrumentAwarenessDay Sources: https://blog.strazcenter.org/2020/07/29/celebrate-uncommon-instrument-awareness-day-with-these-six-uncommon-instruments/ http://www.dailyholidayblog.com/2013/07/uncommon-instrument-awareness-day-celebrate-the-unusual/
Did you meet a cute mutt somewhere in your life?
Remember this good dog fondly
The cake made a raspberry at me, how berry rude!
You can tell alot about a person by their way of eating jellybeans.
Your knee bone connected to your thigh bone
Your thigh bone connected to your hip bone
Your hip bone connected to your back bone
It's fairly normal if you talk to your dolls and toys.
It's a little odd if they talk back.
“Folks, I don't trust children. They're here to replace us."
They say it's a berry good pie
Lugh, many-skilled one,
I ask you to shine upon me.
Share your gifts with me,
and make me strong in skill.
"The Internet is just a world passing around notes in a classroom."
You might call it girl’s night out, I call it therapy.
When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
As long as there's breath in our lungs our story is still being written.
The dinosaurs never saw that asteroid coming.
What's our excuse?
Ice cream, cookies or sandwich?
All of them!
If you focus on only the seeds in a watermelon,
you miss the sweetness of the fruit.
We are too busy mopping the floor to turn off the faucet.
What happens to a nut when it is nervous?
A dog by your side is better than a brother miles away.
"It's important for women to work. They need to keep their independence, to keep earning and being challenged."
You don't drown by falling in the water; you drown by staying there.
Buy anything lately? Did you ever succeed in getting the durn thing open? What do older people do when even mainstream society can’t open a simple bottle of aspirin, let […]
Due to overzealous planting of zucchini, citizens are asked to drop off baskets of the squash on neighbors’ doorsteps.