What do you call a dumb pirate?
The pillage idiot!

What is a pirate’s favorite letter?
A letter from his family; he hadn’t seen them in years.

What did the ocean say to the pirate?
Nothing, it just waved.

What’s the difference between a hungry pirate and a drunken pirate?
One has a rumbling tummy, and the other’s a tumbling rummy.

How much did the pirate pay for his peg and hook?
An arm and a leg.

• http://talklikeapirate.com/wordpress/
• https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/International_Talk_Like_a_Pirate_Day